A Friend

Accept you as are
Believes in you
Call you just to say 'Hi'
Doesn't give up on you
Envisions the whole of you
Forgives your mistake
Give unconditionally
Help you
Invites you over
Just be with you
Keeps you close at heart
Loves you for who you are
Makes a different in your live
Never judges
Offer support
Picks you up
Quiets you fears
Raises your spirit
Says nice things about you
Tells you the truth when you need to hear it
Understands you
Values you
Walks beside you
X-plain things you don't understand
Yells when you won's listen
Zaps you back to reality

Breakfast at McDonald's

This is a good story and is true, please read it all the way through until the end! (After the story, there are some very interesting facts!):

I am a mother of three (ages 14, 12, 3) and have recently completed my college degree.

The last class I had to take was Sociology.

The teacher was absolutely inspiring with the qualities that I wish every human being had been graced with.

Her last project of the term was called, 'Smile.'

The class was asked to go out and smile at three people and document their reactions.

I am a very friendly person and always smile at everyone and say hello anyway. So, I thought this would be a piece of cake, literally.

Soon after we were assigned the project, my husband, youngest son, and I went out to McDonald's one crisp March morning.

It was just our way of sharing special playtime with our son.

We were standing in line, waiting to be served, when all of a sudden everyone around us began to back away, and then even my husband did.

I did not move an inch... an overwhelming feeling of panic welled up inside of me as I turned to see why they had moved.

As I turned around I smelled a horrible 'dirty body' smell, and there standing behind me were two poor homeless men.

As I looked down at the short gentleman, close to me, he was 'smiling'

His beautiful sky blue eyes were full of God's Light as he searched for acceptance.

He said, 'Good day' as he counted the few coins he had been clutching.

The second man fumbled with his hands as he stood behind his friend. I realized the second man was mentally challenged and the blue-eyed gentleman was his salvation.

I held my tears as I stood there with them.

The young lady at the counter asked him what they wanted.

He said, 'Coffee is all Miss' because that was all they could afford. (If they wanted to sit in the restaurant and warm up, they had to buy something. He just wanted to be warm).

Then I really felt it - the compulsion was so great I almost reached out and embraced the little man with the blue eyes..

That is when I noticed all eyes in the restaurant were set on me, judging my every action.

I smiled and asked the young lady behind the counter to give me two more breakfast meals on a separate tray.

I then walked around the corner to the table that the men had chosen as a resting spot. I put the tray on the table and laid my hand on the blue-eyed gentleman's cold hand.

He looked up at me, with tears in his eyes, and said, 'Thank you.'

I leaned over, began to pat his hand and said, 'I did not do this for you. God is here working through me to give you hope.'

I started to cry as I walked away to join my husband and son. When I sat down my husband smiled at me and said, 'That is why God gave you to me, Honey, to give me hope..'

We held hands for a moment and at that time, we knew that only because of the Grace that we had been given were we able to give.

We are not church goers, but we are believers.

That day showed me the pure Light of God's sweet love.

I returned to college, on the last evening of class, with this story in hand.

I turned in 'my project' and the instructor read it.

Then she looked up at me and said, 'Can I share this?'

I slowly nodded as she got the attention of the class.

She began to read and that is when I knew that we as human beings and being part of God share this need to heal people and to be healed.

In my own way I had touched the people at McDonald's, my son,the instructor, and every soul that shared the classroom on the last night I spent as a college student.

I graduated with one of the biggest lessons I would ever learn:

UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE.

Much love and compassion is sent to each and every person who may read this and learn how to

LOVE PEOPLE AND USE THINGS -

NOT LOVE THINGS AND USE PEOPLE.

There is an Angel sent to watch over you.

An Angel wrote:

Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart

To handle yourself, use your head..

To handle others, use your heart.

God Gives every bird it's food, but He does not throw it into its nest.

七个对不起,换来女孩跳楼，男孩疯了

男孩和女孩从小就认识，男孩经常约女孩一起去村外的池塘边捉小虾，每次男孩总是满载而归，女孩却是两手空空，女孩总是失落的含着眼泪，独自一个人回到家， 然后闷闷不乐。晚饭前，男孩敲响女孩家的门，女孩一见是男孩，扭头就走，男孩追上前，对女孩说：“对不起，我把你的虾都捉走了，给，我把它们养在小鱼缸 里，送给你。”女孩眉头一放，慧心的笑了，就这样反复着他们纯纯的童年，转眼，他们各自成长着。
——纯纯的“对不起”。

男孩总是喜欢戏弄女孩，经常会把女孩逗到哭，然后又去哄女孩到她笑为止，直到长大后，也是如此。

男孩经常偷偷的把女孩的自行车轮胎的气放到没有，然后躲在远处，看女孩着急的走投无路，等着女孩拨通他的手机，然后破口大骂他的小贼行为。可男孩，依旧那 么喜欢这样的女孩。他窃窃的从远处走来，灰溜溜的为女孩推着那辆没了气的自行车，任由女孩在一旁发牢骚，男孩却暗自窃喜，然后委屈的对女孩说：“对不起， 我知道错了。”随即，女孩便会柔弱下来，告诉男孩下次不允许那样，男孩点头，于是，那时的他们每天都充满着笑容。

——“对不起”的快乐。

大学毕业后，男孩和女孩各自有了工作，男孩的工作总是很忙，有时一个月都休息不到一次，而女孩总是抱怨男孩冷落了她，终于，他们有了第一次的吵架。女孩委 屈的哭起来，可男孩却很理直气壮的告诉女孩：“这是为了我的工作。”这场冷战持续了很久。终于，女孩还是忍不住，主动和男孩和好了。后来很多次男孩和女孩 都因为这样的小事而吵得不可开交，可每次，都是女孩先妥协。
那年，女孩生日，男孩答应女孩要给他过一个浪漫的生日，女孩欣喜不已，她在家精心打扮，等着男孩回来陪她渡过这个美妙的生日，这一等就是凌晨，女孩在睡 梦中醒来，脸上挂着泪痕，男孩见到女孩，心疼的为女孩擦去脸庞的泪痕：“对不起，嫁给我好吗？”于是男孩拿出一枚戒指。

——“对不起”也是一种承诺。

婚后，男孩的事业大有成就，经常有许多应酬，而女孩已经成为一个专职太太了，每天在家为男孩准备热菜热饭，把家里收拾的干干净净，她经常会去菜场买回一些小河虾放在鱼缸里养着，男孩总问他为什么，女孩却总是慧心的一笑。

慢慢的，男孩每次回家，身上总是充满了不同的香水味道，而每次没等女孩问，男孩总是忙着解释说应酬太多。女孩黯然，那时起，女孩不太爱说话了，也不像以 前那么开朗了，她总是喜欢成天的呆在家里，抱着枕头看韩剧，然后随着剧情哭泣，夜深时，就会疯狂的大哭。以后的日子里，男孩回来时，身上的香水味只有一种 味道了，女孩从来不问，可是男孩依旧说：“对不起，今天又去应酬了。”

——“对不起”，谎言的开始。

渐渐的，男孩开始不回家，或总是在外出差，男孩的事业越来越好，身边都是奉承的人，他每天都在别人的恭维下自豪的笑着，而女孩，几乎不出门了，她总会去 超市买上很多方便面，和一些必要的日用品，然后把自己关在家里，这一呆就是很久。从前，女孩会经常和男孩一起聊聊天，而现在，她孤身一人，身边没有一个可 以说话的人，每次打电话问男孩什么时候回家，男孩总是仓促的回答到：“对不起，我太忙了。”女孩，失落的扣上电话，那以后她再也没有问男孩什么时候会回 家。

——“对不起”，只是个敷衍的方式。

女孩学着电视上的样子，开始打扮自己，她觉得男孩不回家，也许是看腻了她，她决定不再颓废，自己的幸福应该靠自己争取，而不是无谓的后退。

那天，女孩心血来潮，按照地址去了男孩工作的地方，那是女孩第一次去，也是唯一的一次。女孩涩涩的按下电梯，来到这个男孩经常说忙的地方，她细细的观察 这个公司的每个角落，这里的一切，她都觉得很好看。终于，绕过长长的办公走廊，她来到男孩的办公室，轻轻的推开门……女孩愣住了，眼前看到的不是自己的丈 夫，也不是那个经常弄坏她自行车的那个贼小子，更不是那个把虾放在小鱼缸里的男孩，而是一个正在和别的女人做爱的男人。那个女人坐在桌子上，****** 的发出微弱的呻吟声，那个男人，仿佛山林里饿极了的野兽……

许久，男孩才发现了女孩，男孩惊慌失措，忙把衣裤捡起来穿好。可女孩，转身离开了。男孩飞奔出去，追着女孩，那晚，大雨袭击了整个城市。女孩不顾男孩的叫 喊，径直往前跑，往回家的方向跑，男孩在女孩后面大喊：“对不起，我还是爱你的，对不起，我真的只爱你。”可女孩，始终没有听见。

——这样的“对不起”太伤人。

男孩一直都没有找到女孩，女孩失踪很久了。男孩的世界已经一片黑暗，无心工作，无心花天酒地，他想不到女孩可以去哪里，因为女孩没有朋友，她唯一的朋友就是男孩，男孩终日守着电话机，手机24小时不关机，怕错过了女孩的电话。这一等就是半年多。

快递为男孩送来一个盒子。

男孩打开一看，里面是许多河虾的标本，有的在树叶边休息，有的在水草里躲着，各式各样的河虾标本，旁边放着一封信。


“ 我始终没有勇气再见到你，可能是我太懦弱，也或许是我根本不想见到你，我想这些『警告：注意文明用语！』应该过的没什么两样吧，我很好，我学会了离开你怎 么让自己存活，我懂得了怎样赚钱养活自己，而不用每天等着你回家，为你烧一桌热腾腾的饭菜，直到凉了也不见你的人，我的手机已经不用了，因为我已经不会再 为你24小时的不关机，让自己饱受辐射的折磨。我懂得怎样去爱惜自己，珍惜自己的本来应该美好的生活。我想，我是可以忘记怎么去爱你的，因为你把我的爱弄 得遍地麟伤。

离婚协议书，就压在鱼缸的底下，你签完字，按照地址给我寄过来就行了。

对不起，我想我是真的累了。”

男孩按照地址找去，他满心希望能够见到女孩，然后让女孩原谅，并且告诉女孩自己不能没有她，可是打开门的却是女孩的父亲，而女孩就站在她父亲的身后——是女孩的遗像。

女孩的父亲告诉男孩，女孩在写完这封信后，跳楼自杀了，血肉一片模糊。

——原来“对不起”也可以是种结束。

那一年，男孩疯了。

每个人在自己的生命里头，一定会遇到一个自己真正该珍惜的人。请你好好的珍惜那一个人，不是每一句的对不起，都可以换来每一句的没关系……千万不要辜负了自己心爱的人，那对谁，都不好……把这个故事传下去，让你的朋友们知道，不要随意地说出对不起……

孤 單

沒有伴侶的時候，即使是孤單，也可以很快樂

這個時候，孤單是一種境界。

你可以一個人走遍世界，結識不同的朋友
你也可以選擇下班之後，立刻回到家裡享受自己的世界

一個人的孤單，並不可怕
最可怕的是，有了伴侶以後的那份孤單

伴侶糟糕，你卻不能離開他，那是最孤單的
你和他，曾經有過許多快樂的時光，你以為從此不再孤單
只是， 許多年後，你忽然發現，你寧願孤單一個人

假如只有你一個人，你用不著再向他交代你的行蹤
你無須再逼自己和他一起成長或一起不成長

你不必再聽他嘮叨，你不用再遷就他，你不用再向他說甜言蜜語
當你為他做了這一切，你竟然感到無比的孤單

然而，你有太多的理由不能離開他

你不忍心讓他孤單，不如你自己孤單好了

原來，所有的責任．感情．承諾．道德．傳統．忍耐，都是孤單的源頭
孤單不是與生俱來，而是由你愛上一個人的那一刻開始

Quote of the day...

Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater.

If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby.

If you give her a house, she'll give you a home.

If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal.

If you give her a smile, shel'll give her heart.

She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.

So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit.

動人心弦的小男孩 (Little Boy Touches Hearts)

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back.
我在「塔杰」商店閒逛時，看到收銀員將一些錢退還給小男孩。

The boy couldn ' t have been more than 5 or 6 years> old.
這男孩不過5、6歲。

The Cashier said, ' I ' m sorry, but you don ' t have enough money to buy this doll. '
收銀員說：『抱歉！你買這娃娃的錢不夠。』

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ' ' Granny,> are you sure I don ' t have enough money? ' '
小男孩轉向他旁邊的老婦人:「奶奶！妳也認為我的錢不嗎？」

The old lady replied: '' You know that you don ' t have enough money to buy this doll, my dear. ''
老婦人回道：「親愛的！你知道買這個娃娃的錢是不夠的。」

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look around. She left quickly.
她要小男孩呆在那裡5分鐘，她一下就回來。她迅速離開了。

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.
小男孩的手仍然握著娃娃。

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.
最後我向他走去，問他這個娃娃你想給誰。

'It ' s the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.
這是我妹妹的最愛，非常想要的聖誕節娃娃。

She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her. '
她一直認為聖誕老人會帶娃娃來給她的。」

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.
我告訴他不用擔心，聖誕老人最後可能會帶給她的。

But he replied to me sadly. ' No, Santa Claus can 't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there. '
但他哀傷地回答我『不！聖誕老人不可能將它帶到她現在的地方給她。我必須將娃娃交給我媽，當她去那裡的時候可以給我妹妹。』

His eyes were so sad while saying this. ' My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister. '
他說話時的眼睛是哀傷的。『我妹妹已經和上帝在一起。爸爸說媽媽很快也將要去見上帝，因此我認為她可以將娃娃帶給我妹妹。』

My heart nearly stopped.
我的心臟幾乎要停止了。

The little boy looked up at me and said: ' I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come> back from the mall. '
小男孩看我說：『我叫爸爸告訴媽媽現在不要走，讓她等我從購物中心回來。』

Then he showed me a very nice photo of himself. He was laughing. He then told me ' I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won ' t forget me. '
然後他拿出一張他自己非常漂亮的相片給我看。他笑著告訴我『我要媽媽帶著我的相片，這樣她就不會忘記我了。』

'I love my mommy and I wish she didn ' t have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister. '
『我愛我的媽媽，我希望她不要離開我，但是爸爸說她必須去找我妹妹。』

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.
然後他安靜地用哀傷的眼睛再看著娃娃。

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. ' Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll! ' '
我趕緊摸著錢包對小男孩說『我們再檢查一下，說不定您有足夠的錢買玩偶!> 』

'OK ' he said, ' I hope I do have enough. ' I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.
『好呀！』他說『我希望有足夠的錢』。沒讓他看見，我塞了一些錢到他的錢包中，我們開始數錢。買娃娃的錢足了，甚之還有剩餘呢。

The little boy said: ' Thank you God for giving me> enough money! '
小男孩說：『謝謝上帝給了我足的錢!』

Then he looked at me and added, ' I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me! ' '
然而他看著我補充說『昨晚睡前，我要求上帝讓我的錢能足夠買這個娃娃，因此媽媽能將它帶給我妹妹。祂聽見我了! 』

'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn ' t dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white> rose. ' '
『我也想有足夠的錢買一朵白玫瑰給我媽媽，但我不敢要求上帝太多。但祂給的錢足買娃娃和一朵白玫瑰了。』

'My mommy loves white roses. '
『我媽媽喜歡白玫瑰』。

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.
幾分鐘後，老婦人回來了。我也就提了購物籃離開了。

I finished my shopping in a totally different state of mind from when I started.
我從一開始就在完全不同的心境下購物。

I couldn ' t get the little boy out of my mind.
小男孩一直無法離開我的心境。

Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.
我想起兩天前當地報紙的一篇文章，提及一位醉酒卡車司機，撞上了一輛載著年輕少婦和一個小女孩的汽車。

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on> the> life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.
小女孩當場死亡，母親呈現彌留狀態。這個家庭必須決定是否要拔出維持生命機器的插管 ，因為年輕少婦不可能從昏迷中恢復。

Was this the family of the little boy?
他就是這家庭的小男孩？

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.
碰到小男孩的二天之後，我看了報紙年輕少婦過世了。

I couldn ' t stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.
我不自主的買了一束白玫瑰，來到喪家，年輕少婦的遺體在她埋葬前讓人瞻仰與最後許願。

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.
她在那裡，裝在棺木中，在她的手中握著一朵白玫瑰和小男孩的相片，娃娃則放置在她的胸口

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.
我離開了這裡，眼淚奪眶而出，覺得我的人生已經永遠改變了。至今，小男孩對他母親和妹妹的愛，仍然難以想像。

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.
就在一轉眼工夫，一位醉酒司機奪去了他的所有。

人生

人生吧，0歲出場，10歲快樂成長；20為情彷徨；30基本定向；40拼命打闖；50回頭望望；60告老還鄉；70搓搓麻將；80曬曬太陽；90躺在床上；100掛在牆上...生的偉大，死得淒涼！能牽手的時候，請別只是肩並肩，能擁抱的時候，請別只是手牽手，能在一起的時候，請別輕易分開！

當大部分人都在關注你飛得高不高時，只有少部分人關心你飛得累不累--這就是友情，朋友雖不常聯系卻一直惦念！

兩個基本點：遇事瀟灑一點，看事糊涂一點。

三個忘記：忘記年齡，忘記過去，忘記恩怨。

四個擁有：無論你有多弱或多強，一定要擁有真正愛你的人，擁有知心朋友，擁有向上的事業，擁有溫暖的住所。

五個要：要唱，要跳，要俏，要笑，要苗條。

六個不能：不能餓了才吃，不能渴了才喝, 不能困了才睡，不能累了才歇，不能病了才檢查，不能老了才後悔!

想做的事就去做

「不要人在天堂，錢在銀行」要及時行樂 喔！共勉之！

「沒有人每天釣魚、打高爾夫球。如果每天都做這些事，其實是很痛苦的。打高爾夫球、釣魚和旅行之所以快樂，是因為這些事情並非日常之事。」

大前研一很多人都有一大堆計劃留到退休後去做，但到了那時候，現在想來快樂的事，屆時已不快樂了。想做就馬上去做，儘管不景氣，這仍是大前研一的諍言。

我說「人生不妨繞路走」，讀者或許不知道什麼是繞路。我就試著從我接觸過的多位經營者的（痛苦）小巧引出我的看法吧！過去30年間，我至少和一千位經營者共事過。正確的數字我沒算過，但是一年30個人，30年下來應該有這個數目吧。我所謂的經營者，都是社長（總經理）、會長（董事長）等事業成功的企業人士，也都是孜孜矻矻忙著賺錢的人。

這些日本企業領袖多半愛談退休後的生活。有人說想每天打高爾夫球悠悠哉哉的日子，有人想回到面臨瀨戶內海的美麗故鄉天天釣魚，有人想和老妻帶著珍愛的相機環遊世界，有人只希望含飴弄孫、忘掉工作，還有人夢想參加非營利組織（NPO）到東南亞當技術指導，有人甚至想在郊外蓋間房子晴耕雨讀，或是長住澳洲。

他們年老後的夢想五花八門，可謂百人百樣，但只有一點我非常確定：他們之中沒有一個人完成夢想。為什麼呢？首先，他們熬不到圓滿退休，最近半途失意退職、悄悄過日子的案例尤其多。其中多半是公司裡發生了意想不到的狀況，恰巧位在高層的他們，只好引咎辭職。另一個原因是位居高層的時間太久、積勞過度而猝逝。 同樣地，歷任會長、董事會顧問、顧問、最高顧問、監察人等職位，一過了80歲，便被送進老人院的情形也很多。他們在60歲上下時侃侃而談退休後的希望和夢想，但是一過了70歲，卻突然開始想做「終身經營者」，怎麼也不肯退休。

那些能幸運退休的情況又如何呢？好像也有問題。沒有人每天釣魚、打高爾夫球。每天做這些事其實很痛苦。打高爾夫球、釣魚和旅行之所以快樂，是因為這些事情並非日常之事。 每天打高爾夫球得找到球伴，每天和同一個對手打也無趣，況且往往很快就累了。人上了年紀，打球的分數增減也很有限。只有當場地和對手都不同時，才會覺得有趣。每天要做到這樣，似乎很難。我在美國佛羅里達常看到退休老人打高爾夫球，他們幾乎是為了健康而打、為了防止老人痴呆而打，讓人感覺不到退休前所期待的「樂趣」。

釣魚則更慘。釣到的魚得有人高興吃掉。老夫妻沒那份食慾；老伴每天表現出最大限度的歡喜，其實都是裝出的。釣魚必須有人樂享成果。如果還是社長任內，因為是偶一為之，擅長逢迎的職員會起鬨作樂，爭相討魚。孫子也會討好說：「爺爺好厲害哦！」如果住在市區，分送鄰居也皆大歡喜。但是在瀨戶內海的村釣魚，和漁夫沒有什麼不同。在只有老人的村子裡每天釣魚，一點也不快樂。本來還有這種夢想的經營者，現在都已打消念頭。 童年時釣魚是很快樂，當社長時偶爾去釣魚也很快樂。可是真正退休後天天釣魚，就不是這麼回事了。

那位想環遊世界拍攝照片的人還是繼續旅行，只是不再拍照了。他當副社長時去過南美洲的伊瓜蘇瀑布，拍了一些幻燈片回來，當時是很稀奇，他以「副社長的南美報告」為題，宴請屬下，同時展示攝影成果。席間讚語不絕：「照相技術真是一流啊！」「哇！我也想去一次看看。」真個是賓主盡歡。他退休後又去尼羅河上游，拍回一些珍貴的照片，但是這回屬下就不捧場了。不是推說有事在忙，就是告罪下週有預算會議或要出差，理由儘管不一樣，總之就是沒人來看。就連孫子若不利誘也不肯來。結果落得只有和看過實景的老妻一起整理相簿的下場。從此他出門時不再带沉重的手動照相機，換成用過即丟的即可拍相機了。

看來，即使完全實現年老後的夢想，也沒有當初所想的那般快樂。我的結論只有一句，這輩子都不要說：「我以後要怎樣怎樣……」。

我的建議是，如果有「以後」想做的事，現在，沒錯，就請現在去做！想做的時候正當其時。 現在覺得快樂的事，上了年紀以後，不一定覺得快樂。更積極地說，現在就做覺得快樂的事，才能學會年老也覺得快樂的方法，退休後就能成為真正的玩家, 快樂地生活。 想做的事就去做！

作者 ：大前研一

Nice Article

他們結婚已有兩年了。他愛好文學，經常寫文章放上網絡，可是從來沒有人去看。
他也會攝影，他們結婚的照片就是他自己拍的。
他很愛她。她也是。
她脾氣很大，經常「欺負」他，是個「辛辣小霸王」。
他脾氣不大，經常讓她，是個「廿四孝老公」。
今天，她又「任性」了。
她﹕「你為什麼不肯替我朋友的婚禮當攝影師？她答應價錢照付。」
他﹕「那一天我剛好沒時間。」
她﹕「哼！」
他﹕「嗯？」
她﹕「什麼沒時間？你少寫幾篇鬼都不看的小說，不就行了。」
他﹕「我相信總有一天，會有人欣賞的。」
她﹕「哼！不管怎樣，你一定要替她拍婚禮照。」
他﹕「不行。」
她﹕「就只一次。」
他﹕「一次也不行。」
談判失敗了 。於是，她下了最後通牒﹕「三天之內，必須答應，否則--」

第一天。
她「封鎖」了? p房、浴室、電腦、雪櫃、電視機、音嚮組合，只有雙人床沒被「封鎖」，以示「寬宏大量」。當然，她自己也要睡。他不在乎，因為他口袋還有點零錢。

第二天。
她施? H突襲，搜去他口袋的一切，並警告﹕「瞻敢找「外援」的話，一切後果自負。」他慌了。晚上。床上。他求饒，希望她結束這種非常狀態。她不睬他。決心不「軟」不能被他的花言巧語「迷惑」。除非答應條件。

第三天。
晚上。床上。他靠在床上，頭朝東。她靠在床上，頭朝南。

他﹕「我們好好談談。」
她﹕「不答應條件，不談。」
他﹕「我談的很重要。」
她不吭聲。
他﹕「我們離婚吧。」
她頭皮一炸，摸摸耳朵。
他﹕「我認識一個女孩。」

她氣極了，想爬起來與他打一場。但她又忍住了，要讓他把話說完，不能沒有「度量」，不過，她覺得眼睛有點濕了。他從胸口摸出一張照片。她猜出他是從貼身襯衫口袋掏出來的，因為前天只有這件襯衫沒有搜索過，是看走了眼。

他? s「這個女孩很漂亮很溫柔」
她淚水出來了。
他﹕「而且性格也挺好。」
她很傷心，因為他把別的女孩子的照片放在「貼心」的口袋。
他﹕「她說和我結婚後全力支持我寫作。」
她很嫉妒，因為當初她也對他說過這話。!
他﹕「這個女孩是真心愛我的。」
她想爬起來朝他吼﹕「我不也是？」
他﹕「因此，我想她是不會逼我幹我不願意幹的事的。」
她在考慮，但她氣難消。
他﹕「你要看看我替她拍的照片嗎？」
她﹕「 ?」
他把那張照片湊到她眼前。
她火氣很大，一掌打開他的手，再在他瞼上留下鮮紅的五指印。
他嘆了口氣。
她出了口氣。
他把照片? 韘^口袋。
她把手縮進被窩。
他把燈熄了，睡了。
她把燈開了，起來。
他睡著了。
她失眠了。
她後悔了，不該對他這樣。
她又哭了，想了< 雃h。她要把他喊醒，要和他親親熱熱地談談。
她絕不再逼他了。
她盯住他胸口。
她要看看那個女孩究竟是什麼樣子?她摸出照片。
她又好氣又好笑，又想哭又想笑。
那是她自己的「標準照」。
是他替她拍的。
她俯下身來，在他的臉上親了一下。
他笑了。
原來他也沒有睡著。
人與人相處 感情有時淡有時濃只要 不要忘記最初的相識情境感情才能長久戀人、朋友皆是

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If you love something very very much...
Let it go free!!!...
If it doesnt come back...
It means it does not belong to you...!
If it does, Please love it forever!...

如果你很愛很愛某樣東西
就讓他自由吧 !
如果他不回來, 那表示他並不屬於你 ...
如果他回來了, 要永遠愛他...

所謂的曾經，就是幸福 ~ 很感人

中午，我站在學校大門口當交通導護，幫助一年級的小朋友放學。 卓新勇的母親，悄手悄腳提著一個便當在校門口。 被我一喊，她露出不好意思的表情。 「老師啊！．．．」 「哎呀！我不是跟妳講了嗎？學校不喜歡家長替孩子送便當。 如果每個媽媽都像妳這樣，學校大門就擠滿了人，那樣，我們怎麼放學呢？」 「我知道！我知道！」哼！知道了還送，簡直是明知故犯。 「妳不會讓他自己帶便當嗎！」 「我知道！我知道！」這些話，不曉得說了幾次。 每次一到中午，送便當的家長和放學的一年級小朋友，常常相撞在一起，造成相當的困擾。

卓新勇是一位沈默寡言，乖巧內向的孩子。 有次上課，他竟然打瞌睡，我很訝異，把他叫起來。 「怎麼了？」他一臉迷惘站起來，不回答。 第二天上課，也是這樣，我實在受不了，狠狠地把他叫過來。 「你到底怎麼了？」 我已經氣得半死，口氣已經控制不住。 突然，他垂頭淌下淚水。我暗自一驚。 「說呀！到底為什麼上課要打瞌睡呢？」 我媽媽住院了！昨天一直在醫院陪她。」 我一聽愣住了，頓時，心中的怒氣消失了，代之而起的是無限慚愧，「她為什麼住院呢？」 「是肺癌！」我一聽，心都涼到腳底。 心中想到身體贏弱的卓新勇。 如果，不幸那天來臨，他將如何繼續往後漫長的歲月呢？ 想到這兒，不禁鼻酸。吃飯時，妻子在餵兒子吃飯， 我不禁想起，以前卓新勇的母親偷偷摸摸替他送便當。

第二天下班後，我騎著機車到醫院探望他母親。 幾個禮拜沒見，卓新勇的母親瘦得不成人形，蒼白的臉，光禿的頭，簡直不敢相信就是她。 她看到我，顯得很驚訝，努力想站起來，但是，一咳嗽，整個人歪了一邊。 「不要站起來！不要站起來！」 「老師！謝﹍﹍謝謝你！」她吃力喊著，眼眶消出淚水。 在醫院的走廊，卓新勇的父親對我說：「只剩下兩個月了！嗚！我﹍真的不知要怎麼辦？」他老淚縱橫。

回到學校，報告校長。 「他爸爸已經六十多歲了，現在母親又將離開人間，是不是我們可以發動全校募款。不管多少，都可以幫助他。」校長爽快答應。 經過幾天募款活動，我們總算募到五萬二千一百二十元。 把錢送到醫院時，卓新勇的母親已經在昏迷中。 「我們準備今天送他回家！」卓新勇的父親，臉形憔悴得發白。我一聽，心頭抽搐一陣。 「老師！能不能幫個忙？」 「請說！我能夠做到的，我一定答應。」 「他前幾天，一直拉著卓新勇的手，喊著：媽媽不能再替你送便當了！我想，請老師再讓她送最後一次便當，只有送便當時，他才真正感受到一位為人母親的榮耀。」 聽到這兒，我百感交集地點點頭。

中午，一輛救護車呼拉拉開到學校大門口。 卓親勇的父親和一名醫護人員，推著擔架上的人。 我淚水盈眶，站在旁邊，伴當交通導護老師。 「到了！到了！」卓新勇的父親買了一個便當，躺在擔架上的卓新勇的母親，伸出瘦細蒼白的手提著便當，在旁邊人員推送下，慢慢靠近大門口的鐵門。 在鐵門的另一邊，卓新勇伸出右手，接過母親的便當。 「媽！」卓新勇嚎啕大哭。 這時，我清楚見到她母親瘦削的臉頰，抽搐了一下，彷彿想說話，但是，又說不出來。 「媽！我不要！我不要妳走！」卓新勇呼天搶地叫著。 我的淚水，再也控制不住，嘩嘩而落。我暗恨自己，以前是多麼殘忍！

隔天，卓新勇的母親就去世了。 卓新勇的母親出殯後。 一天， 卓新勇的父親來到我辦公室，遞給我一包牛皮紙。 老師！這是你和學生們幫助我的錢，我認為還有更多的學生，需要這筆錢，所以，還給你們。謝謝你熱心幫忙。」說完，錢一放，就掉頭離去。 這筆錢彷彿生熱似的，直燙著我心坎。 我天天找卓新勇聊天話家常。深怕他經不起喪母的打擊。 「老師！你放心！我很好！你不要一直替我擔心！」 卓新勇對我說「我很早就知道，我母親就要死了，我也不是不想聽你話，叫媽媽不要送便當。因為，一天當中，只有中午，我才能吃到我媽媽煮的飯。」 我心頭一凜，「為什麼呢？」 她很虛弱，家裡都是爸爸在煮飯。只有中午爸爸不在，她才能偷偷背著爸爸煮飯。是她堅持要送便當的。」說完，卓新勇淌出淚水。

很感人吧！我看到一半就忍不住眼淚就掉下來了！ 各位∼趁著父母健在的時候，好好的孝順他們喔！ 不然........將來後悔也就來不及了！ 一直以為幸福在遠方，在可以追逐的未來。 我的雙眼保持著眺望，我的雙耳仔細聆聽，唯恐疏忽錯過。 後來才發現---那些握過的手，唱過的歌，流過的淚，愛過的人......所謂的曾經，就是幸福

George Carlin on Age

Do you realize that the only time in our l ives when we like to get oldis when we're kids?
If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excitedabout aging that you think in fractions.

"How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key. You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.

"How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . . . you become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony . . . YOU BECOME 21 YESSSS!!! But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone. But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60. You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90's, you start going backwards; "Iwas JUST 92." Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become alittle kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!" May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

HOW TO STAY YOUNG

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay "them. "

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Ne ver let the brain idle. " An idle mind is the devil's> workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets,> keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

知足的笑容

有一位家境貧困的婦女，自己帶著小孩謀生。她想讓孩子開開眼界、看看美麗的世界，所以，她帶著孩子到百貨公司，讓孩子認識各樣東西。百貨公司的東西琳瑯滿目，有各式各樣的玩具：小熊、小貓、娃娃、機器人……。孩子也很乖巧，只要媽媽能帶她到處看看，她就已經很歡喜了！

有一天，她看到有人在拍照。這孩子忽然拉著媽媽的手說：「媽媽，我也想要照 相！」 那位媽媽摸摸孩子的頭，理一理她的頭髮，輕撫著孩子的臉頰說：「孩子啊！妳看 妳這件衣服不夠漂亮，今天不要照好嗎？」 那小孩才五、六歲，她卻回答媽媽說：「媽媽，我沒有漂亮的衣服可以穿沒關係 啊！雖然衣服不漂亮，但我會笑啊！我的微笑不是很漂亮嗎？」 媽媽聽了很心疼！她從來不曾讓孩子穿漂亮的衣服，但大家都稱讚她很可愛。那天媽媽才發現：她的小孩之所以可愛，是因為她臉上常掛著笑容。微笑確實是最漂亮的！穿什麼漂亮的衣服，都不及臉上那分親切的笑容來得美。

那五、六歲的小孩多懂事啊！她知道媽媽很辛苦，沒什麼多餘的錢，所以只要能到百貨公司看看就好了；雖然沒有漂亮衣服穿，但她能自己創造美感──笑容。 無貪無欲，才能滿足自在！滿足自在的人，臉上才能時時掛著滿足的笑容；這表示他的心很平靜，把心照顧得很好。人生只要內心平靜，臉上常掛著笑容，就是最美的人生！

爱一人

爱一人
如果你不爱一个人, 请放手. 好让别人有机会爱她.

如果你爱的人放弃了你, 请放开自己, 好让自己有机会爱别人.

有的东西你再喜欢也不会属于你的, 有的东西你再留恋也注定要放弃的.

人生中有许多种 . 但别让自己为一种伤害.

有些缘分是注定要失去的, 有些缘分是永远都不会有好结果的,

爱一个人不一定要拥有, 但拥有一个人就一定要好好的去爱她.

男人哭了是因为他真的爱了. 女人哭了是因为她真的放弃了.

如果真诚是一种伤害, 我选择谎言;

如果谎言一种伤害, 我选择沉默;

如果沉默是一种伤害, 我选择离开.

如果失去是苦， 你怕不怕付出 ,

如果迷乱是苦， 你会不会选择结束,

如果追求是苦， 你会不会选择执迷不悟 ,

如果分离是苦， 你要向谁倾诉,

好多事情都是后来才看清楚, 好多事情当时一点也不觉得苦!!!!

Can I Borrow $25?

A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door.

SON: 'Daddy, may I ask you a question?'
DAD: 'Yeah sure, what it is?' replied the man.
SON: 'Daddy, how much do you make an hour?'
DAD: 'That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?' the man said angrily.
SON: 'I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?'
DAD: 'If you must know, I make $50 an hour.'
SON: 'Oh,' the little boy replied, with his head down! .
SON: 'Daddy, may I please borrow $25?'

The father was furious, 'If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I don't work hard everyday for such childish frivolities.'

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door. The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?

After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down , and started to think: Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $25.00 and he really didn't ask for money very often The man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door.

'Are you asleep, son?' He asked.
'No daddy, I'm awake,' replied the boy.
'I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you e! arlier' said the man. 'It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the $25 you asked for.'
The little boy sat straight up, smiling. 'Oh, thank you daddy!' he yelled.

Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills. The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again. The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father.

'Why do you want more money if you already have some?' the father grumbled.
'Because I didn't have enough, but now I do,' the little boy replied.
'Daddy, I have $50 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you.
'The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness.

It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard ! in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts.

Do remember to share that $50 worth of your time with someone you love. If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of hours. But the family & friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.

Only For Intelligent Ones...

I'm one of the 55. Are You?

Don't even think about using spell-check!!!!!!!!

fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny55 plepoe out of 100 can.i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. Thephaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at CmabrigdeUinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, theolny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghitpclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit apboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter byistlef, but the wrod as a w lohe. Azanmig huh? Yaeh, and I awlyas tghuhotslpeling was ipmorantt!

累了，就把心事放下來

我們能很容易的放下有形的重物卻很難放下無形的重擔。 累了，就把心事放下來.



最近認識一位美國籍的出家師父，是個很有趣的事情。特別是他叫我舉起蕃茄汁跟他說話的經驗。 我們約在新竹的一家茶館用英文談論著心經，師父用英文跟我解釋因果、輪迴這些事情，這都還不稀奇。



有趣的事情在後頭呢！師父一聽完我跟他提到的個人煩惱的時候，他索性要我左手提起他剛買的三罐番茄汁，一邊提著，一邊跟他說話。 可想而知，我左手感覺到疲勞的程度，跟時間成了正比。也懊惱著為何師父要我一邊提著三罐蕃茄汁，一邊跟他說話。 受不了這樣的酸楚，我自行把左手放下，卻聽到師父跟我說：「 Hold it up, and keep talking to me. 」 聽到這樣的話，心理不免起了疑心，我手提的那麼酸，為何不讓我放下手上的重物，輕鬆地與他對談？



約莫過了15分鐘，我的左手實在承受不住了，才聽見師父跟我說：「Now you can put it down.」。看著我狐疑的臉，師父居然笑了出來。 「你不喜歡提著重物跟我說話，為何你卻喜歡帶著煩惱來跟我說話，過著你的生活呢？手酸了，放下就好，對待煩惱，不也是這樣？或是這些煩惱就像是那些番茄汁一樣，是你自己用手把它們給舉起來的呢？」 有趣的經驗，對吧？



最近我開始這樣的練習，一手舉起有重量的東西，一邊想著事情。 手酸了，自然會放下手上的東西，看看有一天，我會不會也學到，心累了，就把心事給放下來。 我們能很容易的放下有形的重物，卻很難放下無形的重擔。 執著的人生會讓自己承擔莫需有的重擔。所以學習放下執著也就在學習人生自在。 .

感 激 不 盡 視 而 不 見

陌生人請一碗麵，我都那麼感激，而我媽一個人辛苦地養我，煮了二十多年的麵和飯給我吃，我怎麼沒有感激她呢？別人給予一點小惠，你就「感激不盡」，卻對親人，父母的一輩子恩情「視而不見」！

那晚，佳芬跟媽媽吵架之後，什麼都沒帶，就隻身往外跑。可是，走了一段路，佳芬發現，她身上竟然一毛都沒帶，連打電話銅板也沒有！ 她走著走著肚子餓了，看到前面有個麵攤，香噴噴的，好想吃！可是，她沒錢！

過一陣子後，麵攤老闆看到佳芬還站在那邊，久久沒離去，就問：「小姐，請問妳是不是要吃麵？」「可是．．．可是我忘了帶錢．．」佳芬不好意思地回答。麵攤老闆熱心地說：「沒關係，我可以請妳吃ㄚ！」「來，我下碗餛飩麵給妳吃！」

不久，老闆端來麵和一些小菜。佳芬吃了幾口，竟然掉下眼淚來。小姐，妳怎麼ㄌㄚ？」老闆問。沒有ㄌㄚ，我只是很感激！」佳芬擦著淚水，對老闆說道：「你是陌生人，我們又不認識，只不過在路上看到我，就對我這麼好，願意煮麵給我吃！

可是..我自己的媽媽，我跟她吵架，她竟然把我趕出來，還叫我不要再回去！」你是陌生人都能對我這麼好，而我自己的媽媽，　竟然對我這麼絕情！」 老闆聽了，委婉地說道：「小姐ㄚ，妳這麼會這樣想呢！

妳想想看，我只不過煮一碗麵給妳吃，妳就這麼感激我，妳媽媽煮了十多年的麵和飯給妳吃，妳怎麼不會感激她呢？妳怎麼還要跟她吵架 .佳芬一聽，整個人楞住了！是ㄚ！陌生人的一碗麵，我都那麼感激，而我媽一個人辛苦地養我，也煮了二十多年的麵和飯給我吃，我怎麼沒有感激她呢？ 而且，只為了小小的事，就和媽媽大吵一架。

匆匆吃完麵後，佳芬鼓起勇氣，往家的方向走，她好想真心地對媽說:「媽，對不起， 我錯了！」 當佳芬走到家巷口時，看到疲憊、著急的母親，已經在四處地張望看到佳芬時，媽媽就先開口說：「阿芬ㄚ，趕快回家吧！我飯都已經煮好，妳再不趕快回來吃，菜都涼了！」 此時，佳芬的眼淚，又不爭氣地掉了下來！。

有時候，我們會對別人給予小惠「感激不盡」，卻對親人，父母的一輩子恩情「視而不見」！

爸爸 你何時將新的手還給我

在美國的加州有一個小女孩大約是4 歲. 她的父親有一台大卡車，她的父親非常喜歡那台卡車
總是為那台車做全套的保養，以保持卡車的美觀.

一天，小女孩拿著硬物在他父親的卡車鈑金上劃下了無數的刮痕!! 她的父親盛怒之下，用鐵絲把小女孩的手綁起來. 然後吊著小女孩的手，讓她站在車庫罰站. 當父親想起小女兒在車庫罰站時，已經是 4個小時過後了！ 趕到車庫時，小女孩的手已經被鐵絲綁的血液不通! 父親送她到急診室時，已經需要截去小女孩的手掌了. 因為，手掌部分的組織已經都壞死，如不截去手掌 她生命是非常危險，甚至可能會危害到小女孩的生命. 所以小女孩就這樣失去了她的一雙手掌了. 但是她不懂.....她不懂到底是發生了什麼事在她的身上. 而她的父親也因為這樣感到萬分的愧疚 !

過了約半年後, 小女孩的父親的卡車進廠重新烤漆，又像全新的一樣!! 當他把卡車開回家後，小女孩看著重新烤漆過的卡車, 對著她的父親說 : 爸爸! 你的卡車好漂亮唷！看起來就像是新卡車. 這時小女孩無邪的伸出了她那截斷的雙手，對她的父親說 : 但是你什麼時候要把我的新手還給我??

你們知道當那位父親聽到小女孩問他的問題時，發生了什麼事嗎? 那位父親在小女孩的面前.....舉槍自殺......

很多人分不清.....到底什麼是重要的？

只會無知迷失在自我的喜好當中 ........

就如有些人會去慈濟幫忙掃街，但家事從來不管.......

有些人會花很多錢去建廟，但和家里的親人如鐵公雞......

有些人在外面和言悅色，但對自己的卻家人暴躁如雷......
這就是說那個父親不知是車子重要，或是女兒重要呢？

而遺憾的事.....世間到處充滿了這些事.....
而且就在你我之間....
只要是金錢可以買到的；

都比不上無價的可貴，
請不要吝嗇，多給家人一點愛！
在順境中感恩 在逆境中

依然心存喜樂

Good Husband

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong....
Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed.

He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlesslyclean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick:

"Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make your favourite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian"

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast,steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son is also at thetable, eating. Jack asks, "Son... what happened last night?""Well, you came home after 3 A.M. , drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door. Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??"

His son replied, "Oh THAT!... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed "Leave me alone, I'm married!!"

Morale of the story:
Saying the right thing at the right time can save a lot of trouble :-))

Never Laugh at a Chinese

A Chinese man walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to China on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Chinese man hands over the keys to a new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. Heproduces the title and everything checks out.

The Loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the Chinese for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral againsta $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank'sunderground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the Chinese returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, 'Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled.

While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multi-millionaire. What puzzles us is why you would bother to borrow $5,000.

The Chinese replies: 'Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there safely when I return.'